You have been working hard on a project. You gave it your all. Covered all the bases, nothing was missed. Then it came. The big blow that you fought so hard to avoid. Not wanting to admit defeat, you raised your head up. Defying gravity. So what? You tell yourself. This ain’t the end of me. The road is long. I will make my own fate. I will carve my own path.
When it rains, it pours.
It’s still pouring in my life. I have been soaked this whole time. I am just passing through. This is not my destination. Where is my destination? So many pit stops, I got lost on the path I am on. Everyone went about their way so I followed. The rest of the world moved on, so I did. A path is still a path. When you’re good and true, you will be blessed. I heard that from somewhere. That somewhere seemed very far from me- almost unreachable. What I have instead are rocks. And walls. Tall walls. Dead ends.
I kept going anyways. I trudged on. And on. Up to now.
I’m older and wiser. Tired of this process. I used up my umbrella many times it bore holes on it. Yes I could use a fortune cookie. One that says my luck will finally change with a piece of the sweetness it brings. I could use some wisdom from Forrest Gump right now. Just have the taste of the good life.
Being alive is precious. But living a good life is the hardest. I can always buy a cookie. Hold a job that pays. But finding joy these days..there is war in the world somewhere. There is hunger, there is greed. These things are man-made. All these are bigger than me. The world we promise to become better have turned to such a state. A man made state of being. I am just a tiny part of it.
Where is joy these days?
Like many of you, coming this far wasn’t easy. I made it here not by pure luck at all. Many times I wanted to stop and give the world the finger. Living shouldn’t be this hard, right? Yet, I just went on my way, quietly. No endings are the same. Just like the rain never falls in the same place.
My life still has to matter.
I really could use a fortune cookie right now.